"Never be anybody's slogan because you are poetry"

And just when you think it is over .... it is only starting!

 

My former maid of honor sent me a message on MSN last night. First might I just say that because of everything we have been able to get done this weekend I was beyond excited for the wedding. I would say almost everything is done!

 

Anyhow ... my MSN name was "finally excited about the weddding ... thank GOD". I have not been completely 100% excited up until now, for many reasons.

 

So I get this message from her saying she knows the name on my MSN is pointing to her and that I should get over myself. She said that this wedding has been all about show with matching dresses to shoes, and themed decor and appointments that all 4 of the girls are going to. She said I am beyond controlling!

 

Wohhhh back up.

 

First of all, yes IT IS ALL ABOUT ME! For goodness sake, it is the day Adam and I get married. If Adam and I want the bridesmaids dancing the hula on stage, then we want the bridesmaids dancing the hula on stage. IT IS OUR DAY!

Secondly, how is wanting matching shoes to dresses, and wanting a fall themed wedding being too controlling? Again, its OUR wedding an WE are paying for it.

 

She said the list of things I sent her that she would need time off for and money for was beyond controlling. She was having a hard time deciding whether or not she wanted to be in the damn wedding so I gave her a list to help her make her decision. It read:

* hair                 * makeup                * alterations

* shoes              * showers               * stag, or other such events

 

OH MY GOD!

 

She also told me that if it if was my wedding it should be ME taking time off to meet the needs of everyone else. Excuse me? I have not had a single problem getting my other bridesmaids to get out and do stuff.

 

What else?

Oh yes ... going shoe shopping all together is ridiculous and controlling. Going for hair and makeup the day of the wedding is being too controlling. I dont love Adam because I am putting more effort into making my wedding nice than actually marrying the man I love. I should be happy getting married in a sweat suit in a field isntead of making for a pretty wedding!

 

Also, she said I think I am better than her because I am 28 and getting married and have a career! WHAT THE FUCK?! Yes I will be 28 but she is only 20, how the hell can I compare her to myself? She is not even in college yet!

 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh .... my favourite comment!

 

My cousin (who is 1 yr younger than me) got married last fall and had a fall wedding. APPARENTLY, someone made a comment about how gorgeous the wedding was and I APPARENTLY said "Nah, not really, just wait until MY wedding". HOW FUCKING STUPID IS THAT?! I am sorry but why would I try to compare weddings? I am not like that! Her wedding was gorgeous! Exactly what I would want! GET OVER IT!

 

So eventually she told me not to waste money on the stamp for her invite, she wasnt coming.

The sad part is, I honestly dont care if she comes. However, if I DONT send an invite to her and her family I will be shunned forever. BUT, my thing is, I will send her an invite because I am the bigger person right now. BUT I do NOT want it back with a "WILL be attending" checked off because she already said she wasnt coming.

 

The poor cousin that got married last fall went through the same shit with my family. She wanted a smaller wedding and on the invites did not put "and guest", because she didnt want people just bringing friends just for no reason. She said someone they are seriously dating etc, was fine! Well no, that wasnt good enough ... that whole part of the family flew off the coop and make a massive deal about it. They said no one was going, no one was going to talk to her, etc etc. They bitched for a good 3 months about it. Ohhhhhhh so who shows up at the wedding? Yup, every last one of them, and with dates too (which my other cousin said ok to after they asked). They acted like nothing happened.

 

Well this is my rule ... if you are going to bitch about the way I plan MY wedding and the way I want things done, and especially if you are going to whine and bitch behind my back ... DONT SHOW UP!

 

If I hear of ANY talking behind my back, thats it ... I dont want them there!

 

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

So a few last questions to the 2 bridesmaids in the wedding party that DO read this ... are you having issues with having matching shoes? Are you have having issues with all doing the girly things in a group? Am I asking too much? Am I being too controlling?

 

GOOD GOD!