So update #2 on the wedding issues.

I talked to the maid of honor tonight and we worked things out ... in some strange way.

Of course I love her with all my heart, she is my cousin and we have always been close. If she chooses not to be in it, I will be far from mad at her. I will be stress free and relieved and I made that known to her tonight. But if she chooses to be in it thats ok too as long as she keeps in mind the costs and responsibilities to come between shopping, accessories, hair, makeup, showers, girls nights, etc. I wanna enjoy everything!

So she let me know how stressed she is about saying no and thats why she hasnt written me back an email since the other night. She said that she feels guilty for saying yes in the first place and now thinking about backing out. Also her mother is making her feel like a piece of crap for even thinking about backing out. I told her to tell her mother that this is between her and I and that we have talked about it and worked things out between us. We are fine. This is not a huge thing, it is not going to tear the family apart for god sake, which Nicole thinks is what is making her mother so upset. I am not like that.

Nicole knows that I would rather her say no, that she cant afford it or accomodate me and any dates to come with everything going on in her life right now, than say yes and have me have to hunt her down and schedule everything around HER instead of the other 3 of us trying to work this out.

She completely understands that she has to buy her dress either way, there is only $110 oweing on it anyhow, but it looked gorgeous on her and it is totally something she could wear to a Christmas party or fancy formal thing. And she knows she is not to show up to my wedding in it if she does drop out

So we talked a lot and she knows I am ok with whatever decision she makes. Right now I think it is leaning towards no. But thats ok. She asked for one more day to sleep on it, now that we have talked and I asked her to let me know early evening tomorrow night so I can give the other girl I have in my head a call and get her in to be measured for a dress, etc.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, the stress!

But .... deep breath .... I am okay!